A quick update

So: I've been seeing someone the past few months. I haven't really written about her directly; most of what's come out in the past few months that's been personal has been about my previous relationship (well, previous relationships in general, and occasionally the prior one specifically). And maybe that's part of the problem: I've been seeing someone the past few months, but I've continued to be preoccupied with the previous relationship.

Anyhow, I recently broke up with her (not too long after the previous post), and I've had a hard time explaining it to her. I still really like her a lot, and I miss her. She's an attractive, intelligent woman, and despite our differences - primarily age - I thought that things would work, that this would be a serious long-term relationship. But it has been increasingly clear (to me, not her) over the past few weeks that I wasn't the one. Things weren't clicking the way (I think) a good relationship should. Which is not to say that things weren't good with her: they just felt incomplete for me in ways that I've had a hard time explaining to her (which I realize is not quite the same as not understanding it myself). So I miss her, and I feel bad about making her sad, and I also feel bad that I can't be the one to comfort her (because that's a surprisingly natural role for me - or maybe not surprising at this point). I want to go over and hold her and tell her it will be okay, but I know that would only make things worse for her.

I tried to end things the best way I could, but I'm not really sure there is a good way. I left her two of my paintings - she's the only one who really liked the Hand, and she also really liked one of my window paintings - but I worry, is leaving these things behind good? They're something for her to hang onto, but I know they're also reminders of my absence.

In any case, my life is chaotic once again, at least for a while. And - surprise! - no cartoon today.